What happens when two Miami natives become simultaneously funemployed right before deciding to leave the city? Well, the Miami Bucket List, OBVIOUSLY. I’m leaving to L.A. to ~follow my dreams~ and hopefully not end up on a porn set. My bad bitch gal pal Kelly is sauntering to Philly with her boo thang. So, here are the very Miami things we want to do before flying the coop:
Watch/Bet On/Try to Understand Jai Alai
I don’t think either one of us really know what the hell this is. What we DO know is that it’s fast-paced, popular in Miami and Cuban men bet on it. But all of that sounds delightful, so we’re about that life.
Frolic Around Vizcaya/Deering Estate
Despite being THE most Cuban, I’ve actually never been to Vizcaya, so we’re gonna put on some white dresses, big hats and frolic around the grounds like the Miami royalty that we think we are. And while we’re at it, we’ll hit up Deering Estate just to get real fancy for a day.
Citi Bike Around the City
Both of us are terrified of biking, so naturally we want to risk life and limb by renting a Citi Bike. Although, by “around the city,” I mean biking a few blocks before the cars scare us and we just walk alongside the bikes until we return them.
Take a Day Trip to the Everglades
Because alligators. And airboats. And Florida panthers. And milkshakes at Robert Is Here fruit stand.
Witness Half Naked Ladies Table Dance at Mangos Tropical Cafe
Yeah, we’ve never been during peak hours. In fact, we’ve laughed at tourists that come here. But now, it’s about freaking time to embrace this place.
Travel to the Mystical Land of Hialeah for Cuban Ice Cream Sandwiches
So I might’ve already done this one because I’m an excitable human being. But hitching it to Hialeah for ice cream is NO JOKE, you guys. Was it delicious? Yes. Would I go back to the birthplace of Ñooo Que Barato? Nope. So, consider this item CHECKED.
Go On a Double Decker Bus Tour
Mostly to see how our city is being advertised.
Happy Hour at King of Diamonds
We’ve both been… but never together. We’re considering it our last Miami strip club hoorah.
Take in a Marlins Game
Since it’s America’s national pastime. No, but really because tickets tend to be dirt cheap, the stadium is in fabulous Little Havana and I love everything about peanuts.
Swim in the Venetian Pool
On an especially hot day since the water is always freezing. And it’ll help us forget how many people have peed in there.