Tag Archives: single ladies

A Single Shade of Gray

The wise Charlamagne Tha God once said, “if you smash a girl three times, you’re in a relationship.” To me, truer words had never been spoken. Obviously, not a relationship in the traditional sense, but SOME sort of union. Whether you want to define it as “hanging out,” “talking,” “hooking up” or whatever other term millennials throw around to describe what or who they’re doing, you’re bound by the rule of three. Personally, I don’t immediately catch the feels, but I think three encounters is a good measure of whether I want to pursue something with you. And if you’re willing to make me not once, twice, but three times a lady, then I’m gathering this little thing we’ve got going on is something you want to continue, too.

But, the tough pill to swallow is that not everyone thinks like me and ol’ Charlamagne. Because what the man children and douchebaguettes of my generation love to do is place romantic potentials in “the gray area.” A place much worse than the friend zone, the gray area rids these people of all fault and blame when they decide to act a fool (no matter how many times you’ve been together). It’s where they place you when they hook up with someone else and then claim, “but I told you I didn’t want a relationship.” It’s how they get away with leaving the bar with another girl in tow and then saying, “it’s not like I’m your boyfriend.” It’s their excuse to rid themselves of resposibility one minute and act like you owe THEM something the next. Seriously, who needs 50, when we already have this little miserable shade of gray?

And people that do this are really the fucking worst. They keep you hanging on a string and then hide behind “being honest” to not look like the bad guy in the situation. Don’t get me wrong, everyone is free to do whatever makes them the happiest of pandas, but cut the cord if you truly don’t want to be with someone. Don’t keep them around because you’re bored or waiting for something better to come along. Don’t let their vagina get attached. Don’t hurt their feelings when they’ve done nothing to deserve it. And for the love of God, get them the fuck out of the gray area and into black or white territory before they “Gone Girl” the hell out of you.