As much as I try to be a totally practical and sane human being, the notion evades me. Like… all the time. Things not going well at work? I’M GONNA GET FIRED. Nothing popping off in the love department? MY VAGINA IS HAUNTED. Friend doesn’t immediately answer my text? THE BITCH HATES ME. So, in order to cope with these completely inane scenarios, I started listening to more than my fair share of Adele music. You know, just to help me chill the fuck out. However, that eventually stopped working. And instead of taking up Sam Smith, I decided to do the most Cuban thing possible. I went and sought the counsel of a Santera.
I had my apprehensions, OBVIOUSLY. I’m a big believer in all things spiritual, so last thing I wanted to do was go there and inadvertently piss off los santos and whatnot. But, I decided to go into this experience with an open mind, an open heart… and my mom. Because YOU SWEAR that I was doing that ish by myself. Throughout the process, I received a lot of answers. Some that I wanted, some that I didn’t expect. Regardless, they were ones that would help me make better choices moving forward. Or maybe less ratchet choices, to be honest.
Throughout that first session, I was definitely feeling some type of way. I cried when she gave me that real talk about my lackluster love life, my career, my future. It would all work out, she said. But first, I had to get out from under the cloud of negativity that seemed to constantly rain on my parade. In order to do so, I was advised to go through a “spiritual cleanse” at a second session. So, I returned a few days later thinking she would sprinkle some holy water on me, say a little prayer, and I would be good to go. Unfortunately, it was a little more complicated than that. And while I don’t want to divulge the details of what exactly went down, suffice it to say that…. it worked. Or, at least I feel like it did.
Sure, now that things are on the up and up, it’s easy for me to say the Santera fixed everything. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. It could just be that I decided to take a different approach when it came to my own damn life, but I like to think that the spirits had SOMETHING to do with it. They were finally on my freaking side, and I was going to celebrate that. Because there must be a reason for all of my positive Walter Mercado horoscopes lately, right?