The “Above All Else” List. AKA My Relationship Must-Haves.

I think about relationships a lot. It’s a sickness, really. So naturally, I recently got to pondering what I need above all else in a relationship. Those must-haves in a partner that help you decide whether you want to continue a union or not. Consider it the “what you got” that will make me “fuck with you.” And while a few years ago I would’ve ranked “great job” and “good family” pretty highly, now I wonder if they’re seriously THAT important to me. Sure, they matter, but are they worth more to me than “makes me feel comfortable” and “makes me laugh to the point of tears”? So, I decided to create my “above all else” list, the things that I simply cannot live without when it comes to making U + ME an US.

1. COMFORT

To me, comfort means more than just the freedom to “be yourself” (as I’ve never really had an issue with that). It means hanging out with someone with absolutely no frills. Someone that I don’t even have to put makeup on for. Where farting and burping and other bodily functions don’t phase them, no matter how long you’ve been seeing each other. Basically, there’s just absolutely no bullshit going on. They accept you wholeheartedly, no matter how many quirks you possess.

2. LOVE ON TOP

Beyoncé sang about it for a reason. I never want to be the girl that whines for attention. Or pleads with you to stay in for the night. But if you forego drinks with ~the boys~ to watch a Law & Order: SVU rerun with me, that certainly speaks volumes. It also shows your commitment to Detective Olivia Benson, which is obviously another plus.

3. AMBITION

You don’t have to have the best job, you just have to be the best at it. You gotta take a page from the book of Rick Ross and hustle every damn day. You’re the BAWSE of your destiny.

4. HUMOR

I know this is a pretty obvious one. Like, who wants to be with someone that doesn’t like laughter and happiness? But NOT having a sense of humor is an absolute deal breaker for me. Nothing is more attractive than someone that’s clever and willing to laugh at themselves/make light of serious situations. Bonus points for finding me super hilarious, too.

5. AGREEABLE

No, not being a doormat. I can buy one of those at Target. But someone that doesn’t constantly feel the need to fight me on everything. Willing to compromise, never makes a big muss or fuss. Oh, and someone that can chill me the fuck out, because I’m as high-strung as they come.

6. POP CULTURE SAVVY

I’m pretty obsessed with pop culture, so anyone that understands my obscure television/movie/music references is baby daddy status. And, as I am NOT of the school of thought that opposites attract, those that don’t fit this bill are oftentimes (see: always) dismissed.

7. CAN THROW DOWN

Women have needs y’all, so sexual compatibility/attraction is a MUST. Homegirl over here needs someone that’s gonna put in work. EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *